>as i start to pass and girlmode more and more everyday cis women are now regularly complimenting small things about my appearance like my outfit, hair, eyeliner, etc.>starting to have this feeling/need (idk what to call it) that i should actually try to make some irl girlfriends but still have zero idea how to actually talk to cis women
>it's not even that i cant necessarily hold a conversation with them it's just that im not really huge into what your normal cis woman is into
>i have a bf but im very conservative in the sense that I refuse to gossip about him since I respect him
>very monogamous, I have been in only 2 other past relationships
>can't have kids biologically, no real desire anyways to have kids
>into fashion but i wouldnt say im crazy about it, i have my own style/taste and stick to it as i like having my own style
>about the only "girl"-ish hobby I have is to go out to random stores and malls to wander around and just talk and animals i guess
so, like, for a while my friend group has consisted of my bf, one close cis male irl friend, and one t-girl i know on discord and another cis male friend on discord and I feel like I'm just gonna be stuck like that
i feel like im partly fucked from the get go from missing out on any form of female socialization growing up and im just forever destined to connect better with men than women most of the time even though I cant really stand most men because i cant stand male social spaces. i much prefer female social spaces but then i just feel awkward about being in them.
also naturally this gives me a fair amount of dysphoria everyday cause of the whole social expectation that ladies stick together and all that bullshit so that doesnt especially help either
i really fucking hate it cause its my last bit of dysphoria left now and i have no fucking clue how to get rid of it