I feel alienated from my male name, but I don't feel feminine enough to use my girl name. Presenting as a man is dysphoric, but when I present as a girl I'm expected to act feminine, expectations I can't live up to. Even if I continue acting masculine, if I let slip that I'm a tranny then I'm "failing being a tranny" unless I conform to those feminine expectations. People expect me to be content being a cute guy, but they don't realise I'm only cute because I've chemically interfered with the masculinisation process. I feel like I let people down when I tell them "I'm not just a femboy, I also have tits". Like wonderful, I've just made it so weird, but the alternative surely is being a man? I don't care about gender, and I don't care if I'm a man or a woman or a femboy or a girl, I just want to not feel dysphoria. But good lord existing in the grey zone between all four is exhausting from a social standpoint.
I feel alienated from my male name, but I don't feel feminine enough to use my girl name. Presenting as a man is dysphoric, but when I present as a girl I'm expected to act feminine, expectations I can't live up to. Even if I continue acting masculine, if I let slip that I'm a tranny then I'm "failing being a tranny" unless I conform to those feminine expectations. People expect me to be content being a cute guy, but they don't realise I'm only cute because I've chemically interfered with the masculinisation process. I feel like I let people down when I tell them "I'm not just a femboy, I also have tits". Like wonderful, I've just made it so weird, but the alternative surely is being a man? I don't care about gender, and I don't care if I'm a man or a woman or a femboy or a girl, I just want to not feel dysphoria. But good lord existing in the grey zone between all four is exhausting from a social standpoint.