Aight this is my first time on this board. I don't know what kind of culture is here but it's 4chan so I'd rather post this here than in a subreddit.My bro is transitioning mtf and I'm trying to cope with it.
I love him, we always had a close relationship, he was my best friend. But although I can still love him, I can't support him. I'm not really "on board with the trans thing". From my own experience of psychological struggles and therapy, I know how strongly a misconception of the self can hold onto your mind.
But I don't want to argue with anybody here, and I'm not trying to argue with him either. I don't think it'd do him any good. But I'm morally incapable of showing any kind of support.
What's worst is that I get an overwhelming, visceral reaction when I notice signs of the transition. It annoys the fuck out of me, it makes me angry, and it makes me sad as shit. When he lilts his voice and pitches it higher, he doesn't sound like a woman, he sounds like a child. I get that the voice is a challenge for transitioning, but in his case, it comes off as a refusal to grow up. My bro's life is kind of a mess. Past 30, and still lives with mom. Not to good at taking on responsibilities. Reclusive, socially awkward. I know he's not happy with his life or himself (even outside of gender expression), but he's just comfortable enough to cruise along.
I wish I could help him, or have a deep heartfelt convo with him, but it's impossible. Our guiding principles basically go against each other. So we can only talk about surface level shit. I figured the "good brother approach" is to let him be. It's his life, not mine. But that kinds of leave me sitting on the sidelines biting my lips with my anger and my sadness.
I feel like I need some actual copium. Got any for me ?