As a lesbian, I wish our community was more like theirs, even if it does have its own problems. I think what I envy the most is how insular it is. Whenever someone that isn't gay but identifies as such comes into their spaces and tells them to "unlearn/unpack their biases", "stop being transphobic", and stop using male specific language and describing male specific experiences , they shut it down immediately and will proudly and unabashedly band together and tell these people that they are not gay, not welcome, and to get the fuck out of their communities and not give in to what the intruder tells them. Whenever someone that isn't lesbian but identifies as such comes into our communities and tells us to "unpack/unlearn our biases", "stop being transphobic", and stop using female specific language and describing female specific experiences, instead of defending and asserting ourselves, and not allowing our communities to be run over with these people, we give in to them. Also, not only do they have online spaces to themselves, they have thousands of real life spaces to themselves. They have an endless amount cities with giant "gay scenes", gay clubs, gay bars, gay bathhouses, gay cruises, gay events, etc, just spaces in general that are meant specifically for them that don't include outsiders where they can be among themselves and engage in all the debauchery and hedonism they want.
No such spaces exist for lesbians. There's no city or place on earth you can point to and say "that place has a huge lesbian scene". The handful of "lesbian clubs" that exist are lesbian in name only and are full of straight men, straight women, bisexuals, and gay men. There are certainly no lesbian bathhouses or lesbian cruises or lesbian spaces or lesbian events in general where we can just be among ourselves and engage in the same activities that gay men do and enjoy the same sense of community.