>31 years old>AGP or femboy, I don't even know at this point, most likely AGP, since it's mostly a sexual thing for me
>have a girlfriend that doesn't know about this, won't tell her, doesn't live with me yet
>I have nice legs and decent ass, and been posting pics online of me wearing stuff like leggings
>get a decent amount of people praising me, also horny messages, which feels good, I've even talked to girls and sexted one (lied about my age though)
>but I can't really post any other kind of picture because my body sucks
>don't shave, and can't really do it because I'd have to justify it to my gf
>my upper body sucks, I've lost a lot of weight, and keep doing so, but my belly and chest still looks kinda bad, also I have broad shoulders, pictures of a whole outfit would be hon tier, I can get away with it by just showing my lower body at least
>my face probably would look terrible even with makeup because I'm old and don't have many soft features
>feel forced to keep this for my home and internet, I'd look like a clown dressed like a girl irl
>keep seeing these perfect femboys on reddit that are naturally beautiful, really young, thin, white, they shave, etc, and it depresses me because I'll never look like that
>can't stop thinking about all the time I lost, depression, wasting time on videogames, and life in general made it seem so fast, like how am i even 31
>I love my gf, most likely will have kids with her in the near future, that means I'll never get to freely enjoy this side, as well as experimenting more with men, other women, etc
>keep thinking about all the things I could've done if I had my shit together since I was 18
How do I cope?