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what if the emptiness, extremes in emotion (autistic freakout...

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what if the emptiness, extremes in emotion (autistic freakout meltdowns vs. complete numbness) and memory problems i've had for basically my entire life are from something other than dysphoria? maybe i'm just some ugly retard. maybe my existence is a net negative for the rest of the world. what if i deserve to feel this way?

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