>be me>got sexually assaulted around twelve years old
>attempted to repress the memory
>remember it and relive it when a guy grabs my hair randomly
>fast forward to a few days ago
>spending time with a friend and a few acquaintances
>one of them randomly puts his hand on my shoulder
>instantly tense up, feel like pushing him away from me
>its so incredibly uncomfortable
>I want him to just let go so badly
>it feels like im being electrocuted and I just cant do anything until its over
>eventually he moves his arm away and the feeling mostly recedes
>feel a bit off and weird for the rest of the day
I hate living like this. Can anyone relate?