i feel like none of this is really worth it anymore. i don't pass and don't think i ever will. injections are rng whether they bleed and bruise and i dread them every time. going to the clinic is always terribly embarrassing. i still boymode nearly 2 years in and picking up meds from the pharmacy is always embarrassing. i do feel better mentally in the sense that i'm not aging like a man anymore and i'm not losing my hair anymore, but the needles and humiliation is all really exhausting. but it's not like there's any alternative. even if i stopped, like what then? i'm not a normal person and probably never will be. i'm not functional as an adult and i turned 27 recently. i don't have it in me to kill myself, but i know this can't continue like this but idk what to do. it feels like everyone hates trans people and by extension me and i feel like killing myself before it gets worse is a good idea but it's still scary
i feel like none of this is really worth it anymore. i don't pass and don't think i ever will. injections are rng whether they bleed and bruise and i dread them every time. going to the clinic is always terribly embarrassing. i still boymode nearly 2 years in and picking up meds from the pharmacy is always embarrassing. i do feel better mentally in the sense that i'm not aging like a man anymore and i'm not losing my hair anymore, but the needles and humiliation is all really exhausting. but it's not like there's any alternative. even if i stopped, like what then? i'm not a normal person and probably never will be. i'm not functional as an adult and i turned 27 recently. i don't have it in me to kill myself, but i know this can't continue like this but idk what to do. it feels like everyone hates trans people and by extension me and i feel like killing myself before it gets worse is a good idea but it's still scary