I fucking hate OCD so much. Literally been trooned for 8 years post srs lol but ever since the uproar started to get bad about trans kids. (trooned at 16) part of me got the weird OCD brainworm of what if I'm just some AGP brainwashed by anime and not tru trans, Like I know it's a fake conservative brainworm but OCD is super irrational.Usually this happens when I'm already depersonalizing and have a weak sense of identity and then i get the doubts about who i really am. Causing me to compulsively visualize myself as both genders in different archetypes like male vs female wizard, mad scientist, ninja, sage etc. But the compulsively visualizing myself as not myself causes me to derealize even further making it even harder to tell how i feel about anything.
How do I stop this every time it happens I stop feeling like a person. The main thing I tell myself is that rationally I wouldn't detroon even if i was a guy cause T is ugly juice lol. And that it's not really an urgent issue. But it's really spooky when I'm depersonalizing because I get scared that I will stop being myself in general.