>be me, 22>midshit twinkhon, hrt at 16
>in childhood I was typically male
>typical male development path until I started hormones
>highly gynephillic at the time, mildly androphillc
>lost virginity at age 15 to a 30 year old man who was grooming me online
>he is significantly larger, highly androgenized, and dominant
>during sex he breaks me down and makes me admit I'm a girl, stuff like that
>buys me female clothes, gives me money
>i buy diy hrt eventually after convincing and start actually living as female
>eventually get out of what is obviously an abusive relationship
>ever since never had any female partners
>sexuality has flipped, highly androphilic, low gynephilia
I am okay now, I have a really loving boyfriend and I'm really grateful for everything he does for me but I can't help but think back on that experience and wonder if I could ever be male in another reality. I'm not unhappy or even regretful. I also just don't relate to other trans girls and I don't really know if I identify as female or was made female.
Thoughts?