i just can't do this to the people i love...having them see their child turn into a miserable ugly freak, into something that is only seen as a fetish object by most people, spending days in misery until it's too much to bear anymore.
they don't deserve to have to worry that much
to look at a disgusting monster and still see the once happy child they love in its eyes, to be constantely reminded of how wrong everything has gone...
i don't know what to do and i feel so guilty and conflicted.
i'll keep up the facade for now, but i very much hope that my transition will turn out fine in the end, not just for me, but for the sake of the people that i love
ty for reading this little vent <3